Thursday, September 28, 2006

I feel cheap and used...

tonight as i was walking with mom and dad through my neighborhood a man standing in his front yard says, "hey is your dog a boy or a girl?" dad replied, "he's a boy" the man then said, "oh, we have a girl dachshund but she has short hair." so we walk on and a couple minutes later he drives up to us in his truck with his two kids. he said he was on his way to the store. but he introduced himself and then asks dad if he would be interested in "studding" me! dad said, "he's fixed." well i didn't know what studding was but mom explained to me later that it meant dog sex! I couldn't believe that man wanted to prostitute me!!! i feel so cheap and used!! dad asked if that meant mom was my pimp?! what does that mean?! all i know is if i want to have dog sex with a pretty lady i want it to be for love! not money! mom did tell me that i should be flattered that the man thought i was so handsome....whatever he just wanted to use me as a prostitute! how embarrasing!

by the way it is RAINING in my frontyard, probably my backyard too. but i need to GO business! i hate rain! mom says its going to rain all night!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Hey guys I'm OK!

well i am back and ok! i actually was picked up by my dad on thursday from that mean cat's house. I just haven't blogged yet. well i should tell you that the evil cat's name is ozzy. he told me he is not named after ozzy osbourne but some whale named ozzy. whatever. ozzy is gray and fat and talks A LOT! he won't shut up! i wanted to play with him like i play with nixon but nooooo he just hisses and runs away from me. he is such a wimp! he has NO claws! nixon has all his claws but mom and dad trim them. ozzy is clawless! its like being swatted with q-tips! i tried to be friends with him like the good boy that i am but he just wanted to scream and hiss at me and whack me with his q-tip paws!
i missed my mom and dad sooooooo much! mom said that right when she got home from her sad trip she had to go on a trip to washington dc with a bunch of 8th grade kids! so guess what? she was home at MY house for 24 hours WITHOUT coming to get me! she slept in the bed and petted nixon and never came to get me!! the nerve! she claims she didn't want to have to pick me up for like 3 hours cause she was going to have to take me right back over to ozzy's house cause she had to leave at lunch time the next day and ozzy's parents want mom to bring me over at night before bed time cause they both have to go to work. anyways i think that was pretty mean cause ozzy lives around the block from me, mom was so close and never got me!!
if anyone was wondering my dad was in beirut, lebanon the whole time. so he couldn't come and rescue me from ozzy's q-tips either.
so the moral of the story is IF you have to stay with a mean cat make sure they have q-tip paws so they are defenseless!!! and mom should pick up their doglets even if they are going to be home for 24 hours!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


copper and i won't be blogging for a week or so my mom's grammy which is copper's mom's mom died. (does that make sense?) i've met her once she was a super cool lady who loved dogs. she was a mommy to 2 collies and 2 dacshunds (not all at the same time) and was a grammy to a golden, a lab, a poodle, and 4 dachshunds. oh and a couple cats. so we are sad right now, me and copper's mom's miss her terribly.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Oh the many questions of doglet....

tonight i have many questions that i have been pondering...

1. do dogs have accents? for example do opy and charlie have australian accents?

2. why do i always have to go business when my mom and dad sit down to eat dinner?

3. why does copper live so far away?

4. why did steve irwin have to die in such a bizarre way?! he was stabbed in the heart by a usually harmless creature, what is up with that?!

5. why is nixon suddenly so loving to my mom and dad and why does he suddenly not mind it when i lay down right next to him?

6. why does mom feel so sick? she should be happy she is having a baby, not getting sick!? maybe she is just worried that the baby will pull on her ears too...

7. how come dogs are all so different if we apparently all came from wolves, i sure don't look like a wolf!?

8. why do i not care so much about eating?

9. what will mom dress me up like for halloween?

10. why does suri cruise have so much HAIR!? its unnatural!
freekish i tell you, she's got as much hair as i do!

oh, and mom and dad say thank you to all the well-wishers for their happy baby news! i don't know how happy i am...time will tell.

and thanks for keeping up with my adventures at copper's blog while mom and dad were at the beach (yeah, they did NOT take me!)